SHALLOW (One Shot Wednesday)


 

 

Dwindled  love

stormy seas

maze of lies

in wasted fields

fragments of me

are breaking off

mortal silence

in every breath

human beings

shadows of shame

forever lost

in utter darkness

of shallow seekers

for happiness

 

©AvdL 2010

 

Image from Photobucket.com 

110 Responses to “SHALLOW (One Shot Wednesday)”

  1. A kind of dark vision, well written. – Bill

  2. great poem/pic. maze of lies / in wasted fields. such a powerful image, both real and emotional, slammed together! loved it!

  3. Such despair make me wanna give someone a hug. Very moving, Buttercup.

  4. I really love your style, it’s like random organization…the thoughts are very organized to the point, but are ordered randomly; it allows one to feel the the whirlwind of emotion while seeing the point very clearly. As always, well done! Another Trifecta, Red 🙂

  5. Emotional poem, stunning photograph … and isn’t Cher fabulous. Have always like her.

    Like the way feelings pile on feelings here. Well done as always, Amanda! Good poem. Good story-telling.

  6. Drawing feelings galore.

  7. Spellbinding. The words are distinctly abrupt and cutting, an emotional statement of disdain you make in verse. The Cher video was a fitting climax. You amaze me, Amanda. Artfully done. Thank you for sharing. xxoo my friend across the sea.

  8. So haunting and deep. It made me sit back and think. Love it! Great photograph too- such a penetrating stare. Bravo!!

  9. It’s great.
    Loved it..
    wow…

  10. perfect format,
    powerful image,
    you always amaze people.
    🙂

  11. *fragments of me

    are breaking off*

    that goes for me ….. !
    making this poem of your my heart favorite 🙂

  12. So true, Amanda… For some people, life’s just a sheet of words with no feeling, a bunch of lies, a box of broken fragments that can be joined together by tape… Little do they realize that life can be best when lived truly and with mind and heart together in ONE place! And not as dysfunctional hypocrites!

    This was a very poignant poem… and I could apply it to quite a few situations… But then again, the general outlook towards life takes precedence… if that’s positive, reactions to such situations also are more forgiving 🙂 What do you think?!
    This was a very very fine read, my friend… it touched my heart in the deepest of corners…

    MUAAHHH!!! You rock!!! (hugs and love) xxxx

  13. life and happiness are indeed shallow. Beautifully written with the dark tone around it, love it Amanda!<3

  14. What a wasted life that is… the imageries are so well structured, Amanda, great job 🙂

  15. the image of the frangments breaking off so aptly describes the pain, i love it

  16. You’ve got that right, Amanda! Shallow seekers most of us are unfortunately… and shadows of shame… in many ways!

  17. Very intense, well written. “shadows of shame” I enjoyed the imagery

    I love the photo!

  18. claudiadesouza4u Says:

    Wow!! Very well written. Full of emotions.

  19. Shining again my friend! Wonderful poem and deeper thoughts from within from me! xx

  20. Wow, this one sent shivers down my spine as I read it. One of your best out of all I’ve read so far. So much haunting truth, we are indeed seekers of shallow happiness. Great poem Amanda, keep them coming!

    • Now that was an awesome comment…it means so much coming from you my friend…your feedback is very important as you know I am your biggest fan. Much love my friend xxx

  21. just fabulous. very very beautiful way of writing and wise thoughts.

  22. Glad to see in your replies above that this is, indeed, fictional projected thoughts. If you were feeling like that – at least if I were – you’d be unable to write and go through the process of posting it with pic. I wonder if there has ever been any work done in having depressed or distraught people write positive poetry to help them climb out.

    I like the simplicity you use, makes it more poignant. Especially like “in wasted fields”, it hits just the right note and tone at its moment

    • It makes me soooo happy when I see you here Lawrence, and yes, you’re right, just fictional…I share your feeling about not being able to write from those dark corners…we all have been there!! Hope you are feeling better and will come over and visit soon. Have a great day my friend xx 🙂

  23. nice poem to be able to go deep with shallowness. This is the second post I’ve read today about shallowness preceded by a long converstion about it. Synchronicity!

  24. The emotion of the poem combined with the picture image…amazing. Loved.

  25. Very well written poem……….

  26. you are super gr8…. xoxo

  27. Buttercup…Oh Buttercup. What a lovely write. Great One Shot! Love and Light, Sender

  28. in shallow seekers of happiness…if all we seek is what makes us happy in the moment..shallow indeed..nice one shot amanda…sad….

  29. signed .............bkm Says:

    fragments of me breaking off..great image…bkm

  30. Patty Sherry Says:

    To me it brought up that seemingly hopeless and unattainable search for something out there. I love the poem! xoxo

  31. Patty Sherry Says:

    Loved the poem, it brought up that seemingly unattainable search we can have for something always just out of reach and outside of us.

  32. Such sadness. I’m so glad it’s fiction and you’re not feeling this way.

    Have a great day.

    My poem is here.

  33. Shallow seekers of instant gratification that society seems geared to provide. Excellent write.

  34. The cries of a broken heart. The pages of poetry are strewn with the words of star crossed lovers because we’ve all been there. Shallow mirth..i can relate to that 🙂 Well done. Thank you. Gay

  35. Haunting poem. “Shallow seekers of happiness” – too many doing that too often.

  36. AMANDAAAA..love how this poem made me feel..pausing with each word,going there..FANTASTIC one shot! :))

  37. If this poem were a chocolate bar….I would eat it…………………..and the wrapping. Yum!

  38. Buttercup,
    Dark & delicious. Tight and intense.

    Loved it.

  39. if we wasnt so shallow would we be in so much debt?? your beautifully crafted piece asks so many questions..an excellent poem..cheers pete

  40. Your words described despair and hopelessness to a T. A sad story to be sure.

  41. Hi.. this one touched me… Loved this read.. Luv surbhi

  42. wonderful message here !!

  43. I love the short lines and rhythm to go with the topic. Excellent!

  44. Great poem. It was touching as it was easy to connect to. Thank you for sharing.

  45. This was such a powerful and emotional piece, Amanda. Great images. The flow of the short made the emotions “feel” very real, the way they would flow though the person experiencing them.

    • Patti, you are such a talented and respected poet and writer, I feel honored that you come and visit me here….I value your friendship so very much. Sending you love across the ocean my friend xx

  46. I reread this several times — and what kept coming to mind was “dark night of the soul.” Well done.

  47. moondustwriter Says:

    painful reality

    dwindled…
    shadows…
    shallow…

    kinda like a black hole

    Moon smiles

  48. Your poems are not usually so dark girl, but it is beautifully written. Glad to read elsewhere on your blog that spring is arriving for you. Here autumn is waiting outside the door as we have our 2nd official heatwave (5 days or more in a row over 90) of the summer. Spring will conquer everything– just wait for it!
    http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/

  49. I LOVE the flow of this one Amanda – amazing xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: